December, thou art a cold bitch

Well, this has been quite the month. I was doing fairly well with the exercise and eating well, but then stuff happened, and fast. I broke my crown, the one which was supposed to have a new root canal, on Thanksgiving Day. The oral surgeon smoothed it off, and we made an appointment for January to extract the whole molar and put in an implant. Oh joy. The rest of it fell off the morning I was to go in for a cleaning; my regular dentist smoothed it down even more. Oh, and I've had three courses of antibiotics to get the gum to settle down. Blech.

I also had a new hernia off the old mesh, so had surgery for that. Not pleased at all, but at least he cut along the old scar. I was doing okay, ab surgery is painful to recover from, but I was recovering alright. The morning I had my first follow up appointment, I bent over to pet the cat and ZAP! Searing internal pain, nearly knocked me off my feet. I thought I was dying. I called Larry, he was able to come home to take me in to see the doc, I chose not to go to the ER because I didn't pass out and my blood pressure was running high, not low.

Turns out the mesh had "released" internally. The edges were stitched on tight, the surface is something like velcro which adheres to the internal flesh as it heals. The doc says this is not alarming. Not alarming to him, but more than a little alarming to me. Also immobilized me further, and slowed my progress.

For now, the staples are out, the scabs and steristrips have fallen off, although I still have red rectangles where they had stuck the stuff to make a sterile shield on my abdomen. My gut is lumpier, has hard spots, and did not drain like it did with the last surgery. I am quite bloated and every muscle in my belly pulls me forward, weakening my back even more. Five pounds of water weight, because I haven't had all that many holiday treats. Getting up and down is an exercise in caution, turning over in bed means shifting my lump of flesh or it pokes and stabs me.

Don't get fat and sloppy, see what happens?

Move it or lose it. I've been losing it for four weeks now.

Younger Next Year

Alrighty, climbing out of the deep pit of last year. I have one completed art project, I have been back to the gym, and I have researched volunteer opportunities and hiking trails and even art classes.

Part of this recovery is rooted in reading the book Younger Next Year (for women). The book is geared at aging folks, on how to improve the last third of life. It explains the need for exercise on a biological, cellular basis. I know, for years I heard I had to exercise, and I knew it was good for me and necessary. What I never had filled in was the why, the nuts and bolts. I am scared straight on this! The food part is easy, Stop Eating Crap. Okay. The next component is caring and being connected. I spend far too much time at home alone, my friends are all busy with their lives and their time off and my inclination to leave the house rarely line up. Have to work on that. I don't want to be frail and scared. I want to be happy and outrageous.

Birdie birdie

Sitting out back while the girl cats have a yard visit, I can hear the magpies and bluejays going at it. Loud screeching discussions over peanuts from the feeder two yards over, with plenty of avian swearing at the assorted cats and neighborhood dogs. No crows today, although sometimes they get in on the act. There is usually a pair of mourning does nearby, and their third wheel. I have to wonder, because when I walk to the bus stop, that dove is often hanging out with the magpies. One magpie most of the time. I know the doves pair bond, could this be a lonely single looking for love in all the wrong places?

Happy Mother's Day my shiny heinie

Catching up:

We sold dad's house for $52K. Between the mold in the basement, which meant it had to be stripped completely, a 40 year old furnace, bad walls upstairs, the driveway, the brick porch cracking off, and the FOUR major cracks in the foundation, it was take and offer and run.

I was in the hospital with diverticulitis. At least I didn't have surgery. I still awful; food is the enemy.

Went to NM to take Wayne's things to Sue. That was interesting and a nice break, but too soon after the hospital (one day) to have been as much fun as possible. Spent too much money.

I miss mom. Dad was born on Mother's Day, so double dip the pity. Sprinkle on the ghosts of my almost children, and Kim's untimely departure and I feel like crap today.

Poetry

I found a poem I wrote for mom when I was maybe eight years old:

You are worth more than heaps of silver,

You are worth more than heaps of gold,

You are worth more than heaps of diamonds,

And peanut butter sandwiches.

(Some memories are well worth digging up)

The never ending Argh

So.

The insurance on dad's house is due. Oh yay. The money is evaporating.

Taxes due soon. Dad always owed.

The demolition guys left the furnace off with the pilot light out, and the gas on. Way to blow up the house, guys. Larry couldn't turn it back on anyway, they broke some of the wiring. AAA will have an HVAC guy out Monday.

They took off the face plates on the switches and outlets and let the live wires hang, tripping a breaker.

The house key is in Salt Lake.

Larry had wood and repair supplies set in the carport, next to the headboard. The king size headboard which matched my dresser. The clean up crew took it all, even the big uncut sheet back in the backyard.

Someone stole his blue handtruck out of the shed. Fricken thieves.

We still need to paint (?), repair the plaster walls, rip up the carpet and clean. And pay the bills.

Marvin had peed in bottles and hid them in the backyard. WTF?! Dude, use the damn toilet.

This will pass. This must pass.

Take any offer, just get rid of the place.

New Year

This is inauspicious. Ringing in the new year with cough syrup. My sinuses had been acting up, and I had a low cough, but after yesterday's exertions on the short hikes in Snow Canyon, I have a full blown snotty, puke-y, wretched cold. That sucks.

Snow Canyon does not suck. Very mellow, very beautiful, very accessible. Love Snow Canyon.

http://stateparks.utah.gov/parks/snow-canyon