Nothing really changes

I read my last post.  In the meantimes, I have been to Mexico, got the yardwork started, did some painting but not much, and put on a few pounds.  I'm up to 215 again.  Got an Alexa Echo Dot, which is excellent for bad jokes and music.  Saw Endgame.  Other than that, everything is still the same.  I am tired, sad, and lonely.  Today is especially heavy.  I just want to sleep.  Odd dreams are better than reality.