Turn turn turn

I got my bottles of Boiled Cider today.  So good.  Essentially consists of Vermont cider which has been reduced into a tart yet sweet syrupy reduction.  Use it like syrup on pancakes or yogurt, or bake with it, or put it in tea or ginger tea, or sip little sips.  Autumn in a bottle, simply fabulous.  I had a little on goat cheese on a slice of orange-cranberry bread.  Mmmm.

Weird day.  I thought I had a doctor's appointment, but the online system had not sent a confirmation.  Doc was doing urgent care, and it was early, so I got in to get my water pill refill.  We talked, I got a referral for my hernia, and he wants to talk about something to elevate my mood and alleviate what might be depression instead of simple grief.  Hmmm.  Maybe I can talk him into a therapist instead.  I have not done well with mood altering drugs in the past, I am not eager to try.  We shall talk.

I came home and changed clothes into my nightgown.  Ten in the morning, and I was dressed for bed.  I dinked around some, did a load of laundry, tidied this and that, but the depression discussion swamped me quite unexpectedly. I cannot even identify the resulting emotions accurately, despair? Fear? Annoyance? Denial?  I was fine treading water.  I think.  I do not care for self-doubt. So I played games and watched some TV, wasted time online, and played with the cats.  Signed up for Secret Santa.  Took pictures of Loki. Put off bringing in the back mat, or putting away the rain barrels.

I have an eye appointment tomorrow.  It will be more expensive, but far less traumatic.