Matt showed up Sunday morning, swept the leaves off the garage and cleared the gutters just in time. I sent him home with the mini bottles in the bog glass vase and a bag of booze I will never drink. Stuff like the one open bourbon, a bottle of gin, some coco-rum, and one of Larry;s Apple Pie liqueurs. The bag of candy canes is out of the pantry now, destined for Santa Rampage. Snow yesterday, and snow impending for the holiday. I pushed some of it around, but the driveway is iced over where I did not bother. I really, really should have done it while the truck is at Desi's.
Saw Maleficent yesterday. Not bad, but I would have liked it better if I didn't need to pee through most of it. A couple came in last minute, sat a couple seats over. Really people, grab a row up, I didn't need to hear your chatter and candy wrapper rustling. You'd have had a better view in the middle instead of on the end. Weirdos.I wouldn't be complaining of I hadn;t been the only other person in the theater...
I picked up my glasses, and dropped off a pair of Larry's sunglasses for donation. I think there's one last pair left in the house. Feels quite final.
Korey of Mr. Maid came and cleaned the dryer vent. It needs to be replaced, but it okay for now. Turns out it is NOT attached at the top. Yikes. He was very nice, and even cleaned the dryer face for me.
Tiny chores today. Washed the blankets and top sheet because Lolo peed on me yet again. Took the recycle bin out and back again. Cleaned up the countertop next to the dryer a bit. Turned up the fireplace to keep the basement warm. Turned on the diffuser in the front room. Cooked fried rice with chicken and veggies. Filled the coffee canister. Did dishes. Found a little basket for my gloves to sit by the back entry. Hung a picture. Dusted my bedside vanity, found a tiny chair for Loki so he isn't falling off the perfume bottles. Lost my ruby touchstone. Brought up the clean towels, took down all the dirty laundry. Looked up a gift for Desi. Ordered a snow cover for the truck windshield. Got the ice melt out of the shed, put the gutter piece where it will prevent ice out front. Swept and move leaves from in front of the garage.
I went for my CTScan yesterday. Clear liquid fasting and pre-medication beforehand, how much fun is that? No, I did not need to be early to drink the potion of ugh, it was just the IV contrast. Even with the Prednisone and the benadryl, I still popped a hive on my hip. Means they kept me for an extra 30 minutes to make sure I didn't have a more severe reaction. Means they will be extra cautious next time. I did get to eat lunch at the cafe, salmon and a nice cauliflower mix, with a yummy bread roll. Had a terrible headache, came home and slept.
This morning I made cherry-cranberry sauce, two pint jars. I will freeze one. A little too runny, but good flavor, nice and tart. I have two more bags of cranberries, so I am looking at cranberry loaf recipes. The Instacart guy brought the sucky orange juice with calcium, so I need to cook with it as much as possible. Extra calcium makes my joints ache, and tastes like crap. I need to make sure I put a note in for NO No no calcium. I got maple bars, and now I feel sugar loaded. Probably why I am in no mood for chores.
Getting some laundry done and minor tidying. The step ladder came in, and while it is cold out, it is sunny. I keep stepping out and looking at the front flower bed, the patio gutters, and what I need to do weed-wise, but I simply cannot get moving outside. While I was in the laundry room, I looked up and saw I had not gotten down my pumpkin tea set or my gourd pitcher and squirrel. When I do the autumn flowers, those usually go on the baker's rack. I just spaced out on them. It doesn't really matter, but it makes me sad. I am getting the dryer vent cleaned out, and need to have the tub drain snaked, so I am probably going to skip roof lights this year too.
I got my indulgent Loki opera scarf and Loungefly purse. So marvelous. I should wrap them up for Christmas, they are definitely gift quality. Nice, nice, nice. The scarf is smooth as Loki's silver-tongued voice, as silky as one might imagine his touch to be. There, done fan-girling for the year. I realize what I spent on these things would have paid for roof light installation, but while I love my lights, I also love pretty things. It is a trade off, and one I am okay with this time around.
My will to get on the garage roof to sweep is fading fast. I thought I could use the tree ladder, but it is too heavy for me to move at all. I guess I can use the telescoping ladder in the shed, but I am unconvinced. It is a tricky beast. Yesterday I worked on the front flowerbed, got it about half done, and I was wiped out. I was too shaky for the roof. Today? I don't know what is wrong. Sleep was uneven, in two shifts with music and tea in the middle of the night. I woke up at six, fed the cats, had coffee, went next door and fed Rowena's cats. Got dressed when Juan showed up to do the yard. Been online looking at money and bills and am just dragged down by it all. Got a few things paid, looked up and checked in on other financial things. Ordered a tall step ladder which means I can do stuff in the backyard without the tall ladder, like clean the patio gutters. Got an appointment to clean the dryer vent.
The truck is away being detailed. That bumper crunch looks like it did bend the metal. I do not want to deal with it.
Ogden Uncon is cancelled and refunds are being offered, but I cannot find my email saying I bought an advanced ticket for $50. No email. I may be out.
Sent in a refund request to my CC for that stupid fold up scootery thingy. I may be out money for that. Dammit.
Did get my cube refund, good.
Got my felted leaves so I can do my arm warmers. Nice.
Made a payment on one of my outstanding debts. I get airline miles, and I will use them. San Diego in February.
Orrin got my new LED fixture installed. Holy crap, the basement is a mess now that I can see it. More to deal with.
Turns out I have cataracts. I knew I was not seeing as well, but I correct to 20/20, so it was nebulous. Huh. Now that I know, I can "see" the big one. In dim light, if there is an indicator light, or the projected time on my ceiling. I can move the cataract in front of it, and the light vanishes. Weird. I will have surgery in January. Surgeries. The bad news is I just got glasses at America's Best, haven't even picked them up yet, and I will not need them in the long run. I can have tinted lens put in though, I will still need sun glasses.
Other good news is the dermatologist says none of my moles and assorted barnacles are worrisome. I should go in annually for a look-see though.
On Thursday I have the mammogram, on Friday, the CT scan. Joy.
Today I will try to sweep the garage roof. Joy joy.
I was doing well, then did a crash and burn. It happens. All my rosy plans for Getting Shit Done circled the drain and crapped out this weekend. At least this week with be sunny and mild, which gives me a chance at finishing the downspouts and doing a bit of winterizing. The garage roof has a thick blanket of leaves already, that cannot stand.
Yesterday I had my front teeth done. Holy crap, the initial numbing shots are painful. Incredibly so. I sprang for laughing gas. Nice. And now my teeth look nice. They did before, but there was some behind the scenes deterioration.
Desi took me to free lunch day at Texas Roadhouse. A little six inch sirloin, the very yummy rolls, and a glorious baked sweet potato. I even got mushrooms on my steak. A pleasant outing. My mouth was sore and I was exhausted, so I took a long afternoon nap after a hot bath. Spent time teaching Alexa more of my favorite music.
I have very nearly finished repairing Rowena's painting which had two puncture wounds, By no means a professional job, but good enough for a suburban living room. I can see the imperfections, but will try to not point them all out to her.
I have today off, but I also have Wednesday and Friday appointments. Lyft is loving me this month.
Edit: what I posted on r/widowers:
Shortly after my husband passed, I made a list, a paper pep talk, a note to self, and posted it in my kitchen. Questions to myself about who I was now, things to strive for, ways forward, reminders. I'm not even sure how to describe it. I just went and looked at it today, as I often do; I am about 14 months out now. I took it down and wrote a new one. Year Two. It is not much different, but I can see what I have let go, what I want, and a reminder that if I want something done, I have to do it myself, or find paid professionals. I can only rely on one friend consistently, she is a true hero, but she is only one human with many demands on her time. That she can carve out hours a week for me is spectacular. So many of us do not have dedicated people who truly show the ways they care in concrete actions. So if I want a chore done, I can't just wait until he comes home to do it like I used to be able to do. I think procrastinating was and is a way to pretend he's just out on the road, that this is just a deployment with an indeterminate extension. No, my heart, he's gone. It hurts, but it is true and inescapable.
So the new list is up, the old one crumpled into a ball. I think I am improving. I have more of these positive moments of clarity. I do more. Oh, I still cry every day, and mope, and have the sads, but I do have better upward trends. Here's to progress in this moment. Hey, I vacuumed, put away the summer sheets, put away the Halloween pumpkins out front, and very nearly have my neighbor's painting repaired. I'm mostly impressed I vacuumed. It hurts my back, and was not my chore. My floors get crunchy. Not today! I guess I am entering the Suck It Up, Buttercup phase. Better than the Soggy Swamp of Tears, which I know I will revisit, but for now, I think I have a foot on solid ground under the quicksand. Fingers crossed.