Sunday, August 18, 2019

Deep adulting.

I had a good long talk with my nephew about the last time his sister came to visit me.  It had been a disaster of a visit, and upset me a great deal.  She is manipulative, and literally insane, which makes her delusional, and barely functional as a free-range adult.  As I learn more about her current family dynamics, I am actually a little afraid of her.  Why?  She is trying to get her mother declared incompetent so she can be her guardian.  That means getting at what little money the woman has.  I thought this through, I have money, not huge amounts. but enough to be attractive.  I have a house.  My niece is money hungry, she always has wild plans to become rich.  Lawsuits which never happen, jobs she can never land, and yes, getting money from family.  She wants my dad's military records to file a downwinder suit.  It is not entirely unreasonable for me to be concerned that she may try to hatch a plan to get at my estate, such as it is.  Still, I'm worth a quarter mil easy, IF it could all be accessed at one time.  It cannot.  That's enough for her to sniff around though, and for me to get serious about not just my will, but sorting out my life right now.

My closest living relative is my brother, followed by a plethora of nieces and nephews. (The nice in question is not the daughter of this brother, but of one of my brothers who died).  The nephew I trust the most, and who is my direct heir, lives across the country.  I have two dear friends who are like my kids, and who do more for me than any of my relatives.  That makes me a little concerned that they have no say in my care or upholding my wishes medically.  Time for that living will I never thought I needed when Larry was alive.

I have always known I am a target given my age and situation.  The term "vulnerable adult" meant little to me other than an abstract concept. However, I forgot to take my medication yesterday and woke up with a headache today, a minor thing, but ... and here is the but ... what if it were not?  The realization that I had better be damned sure that the people I want deciding my fate had better have legal documents to back it up hit me hard.  My niece would do worse than find a nursing home for me, she'd take the house and put me on the street if given the opportunity. She called the cops on her own mother once, trying to claim domestic abuse.  I would be foolish to even let the shadow of that become a possibility. 

Where is the line between paranoia and legitimate concerns for my future?  

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