Thursday, December 27, 2007

Santa Wants a Drink!

Okay, I've been dragging my feet about writing up Santa Rampage. I know, Bad Maggie!

As we know, Santarchy or Santacon is an annual event all over the world. The Vegas Version happens to be called Santa Rampage. This year the location selected was Fremont Street, the old downtown heart of Las Vegas, now a covered pedestrian walk.

MyLarry and I dressed up early Friday evening, intending to eat supper, take a picture with Father Christmas at the Excalibur, then say hi at Coyote Ugly and take the shuttle to Fremont Street. MyLarry have a traditional red suit from Target and carried a Santa Sack full of candy canes. I was wearing my full length red velvet dress and cape I had sewn, with a white wig and a poinsettia crown, also made by hand. The crown, not the wig! I put on the wig and WOW! I look like Mom.

Dinner first, at the Sherwood Forest Cafe, because we were saddled with dining coupons for that restaurant. We had calamari, MyLarry had a grilled chicken cesaer salad, I had a bleu cheese with apples and walnuts salad. The chunks of bleu cheese were as big as my fist, the entire salad was huge enough to feed three people! MyLarry ran my coat out of the truck upstairs while I waited to be seated. The best part of the meal was when a Dad walked a tiny little boy over to say hello. He was the cutest kid ever! One of the cardinal rules of Santa Rampaging is never, ever mess with kids. He was delighted when I gave him a candy cane and told him that all the Santa helpers were having a party tonight because we'd all be busy for Christmas.

After supper, we went over and had our picture taken with Santa. Hilarious! we left the picture there to pick up the next day, I need bifocals but don't wear them, and on the proof I didn't notice my eyes were closed. Still, a nice holiday portrait. We crossed the skywalk over to New York, New York, couldn't take two steps without being stopped to take pictures. Signed up with Tahitian Village timeshare to get tickets for Zumanity ... more about that in a different blog. The reps were taking tons of pictures too! We finally got on the shuttle, and again, many, many pictures were taken.

Fremont Street, we got there just as Santa was moving away from the big Christmas tree into a casino for drinks. I quickly lost track of which casino or bar we went into, but it was a mad mob scene and so much fun! I got to see so many of our Vegas burner buds, most excellent. Now and then we'd stop to watch the overhead light show, very amazing. We wore Santa nametags, MyLarry was Larry Santa, I was Anti Santa (from Anti M). Security would nervously grab their comms when we entered, but then would relax when they saw we weren't being destructive or too rude. We'd walk down the street chanting, "Santa wants a drink! Santa wants a drink!" Now and then you'd hear "Santa wants a lapdance!" Again, I had my picture taken many times, I must have looked more approachable than the Sexy Santas. That, and I'm slow on my short little legs, always at the back of the pack.

We had a Snowflake, and Elf, a Backwards Santa, a Jewish Santa, Little Red Riding Santa, a Dark Santa, a Mexican Wrestling Santa, an Insanity Claus, A Pirate Santa, a RollerGirl Santa, a Pimp Santa ... and well, lots of Santas! Forty or fifty and we picked up one or two others along the way. The street preacher yelled at us and followed with his homophobic signs, I turned and took his picture. He looked startled. At the bar where the girls were dancing behind the stage, we also danced a lot, but got asked to leave when Santa wanted to dance with the girls. Next place, we had cheap shrimp cocktails and the bartenders loved us ... Bennions? At Glitter Gulch, they wanted $20 a head to come in, "Oh NO! Santa got to go!" And so, down to Hogs and Heifers, where all the Mrs. Santas and the Elf danced on the bar. This Mrs. Santa was a big hit, although I had to struggle to get up there. Plenty of helping hands! There are neon signs from Old Vegas on the street as sculptures for the Neon Museum, way cool. Back to Fremont, I got everyone to chant, "Hot Monkey Santa Sex! Hot Monkey Santa Sex!" Then a tropical bar with live music, where again, many, many pictures were taken. The Rampage went on, we caught the shuttle back to the casino.

The night was youngish, only two a.m., so we dropped in at Coyote Ugly. MyLarry knows all the security guys, and all the girls by name. He's there so often he's a mascot of sorts. Mrs. Santa was Very Naughty, dancing on the bar, getting shots poured down her throat, and finally, doing a mini strip-tease which showed no flesh but resulted in her vivid red bra hanging from the airplane in the rafters. I got that sucker up there with one throw! And the girls were laughing and saying how they were permanently on the Naughty List now. We closed the place down! I paid for all this merriment heavily for two or three days, my muscles were so sore from sexy dancing I could scarcely walk. Apparently I can still move it, I had a handsome, well-dressed young man in a suit and overcoat approach me to compliment my dance moves. Sure thing, honey! I was flattered, but freaked out!

Oh, we have so got to do this next year too!


archersangel said...

The street preacher yelled at us and followed with his homophobic signs, I turned and took his picture. He looked startled.
well that's one way to keep him from following.

sounds like quite an event.

kahanabay said...

That's one of the funniest write-ups I've read in a long time, about what has to be one of the most outrageous parties ever. Your account of your notably unique striptease, with its sub-plot of your bra and where it landed, has me almost crying with laughter.

- That, and we get a detailed dinner description a la Joe M's blog - incredible! So now I'm craving a really good apple and cheese salad. (Once my gut recovers from laughing so hard.)

Say, have you ever gone to Mardi Gras? - Not that I have any lingering delusions of that event being the ultimate in Extreme Partying, after reading this blog entry. :)

MaggieMayDay said...

I haven't been to Mardi Gras; used to want to go, but not so much now. Too commercial, I think. Extreme Partying? Hey, I was a sailor, that was pretty run of the mill .. except for the Santa suits. That was crazy.

No, I go to Burning Man now, not primarily a party, but if you can't have fun there, you're in trouble! We also have local burn events which are fairly amazing. Honest, look up and check out the image gallery. Do not do this if you're at work!

Thanks for the compliments!